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What would you like to be when you grow up?“ is a difficult question for me. Like almost all the people in Germany, I have lot’s of chances in life. And for that very reason -paradoxically- I sometimes feel overwhelmed and paralyzed. If my possibilities really are endless, how will I ever decide which path to take and what to do with my life? To be honest, I love the thought of having as many choices as possible, the feeling that every avenue is still open to me. I love the sense of the unknown and the intoxication of vast possibilities. The consequence is, that I seem to hesitate to choose one door, as it feels like doing so closes a bunch of other ones. I am afraid of making the wrong choice. I am paralyzed! Holding onto the myth of a limitless future. The myth that -“when the right choice magically manifests itself…”- the juiciest meat of life is still to be found; that when I grow up, I will be smarter, happier, healthier, calmer and more confident. And when will the time of the great reversal come? The sudden deidealization of the future, the beginning of the aching yearning for what used to be? When will nostalgia replace the golden promise of tomorrow? Why is it, that it is so difficult for me to just truly savor the moment, to grasp the present, to say to myself «This is it, this time, this day—this is what I want! These are the good old days, right now. Let me remain in this moment, let me take root in this place for all time.»


Signing out.//Identity Detective (Germany)