Archives for category: UNEARTHING

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To know What Life Has to Offer

kleine sofie en lange wapper

Kleine Sofie en Lange Wapper 

Heavily implied to be dying of cancer, Sophie, a curious little girl, spends her days in bed. One night she’s awakened by the bustle of her many toys gathering in front of a small theater. Terror, her cat, is presenting a play about What Life Has to Offer, and Sophie -wanting to find out what’s „for sale in life“ and.. what comes after life- finds herself part of the cast. As August the clown and the puppet Death roll the scenery, the play comes alive, and Sophie experiences a riotous journey through a carnival of life. In the space of one night, she becomes acquainted with extreme poverty, death, sex, betrayal, and decadence; she loses her hair, ends up in an orphanage for “kids that came out wrong”, is thrown in jail, gets lost at sea, and in the end, dies in reality. But because of what she’s learned in her imaginary travels, she’s able to imagine a happy ending for herself, and dreams of driving off on a new adventure with her new friends.

kleine sofie en lange wapper 1

Els Pelgrom & The Tjong Khing

Signing out.//Identity Detective (Germany)


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Does money make the world go round?

Signing out.//Identity Detective (Germany)

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Gosh, it’s rather wet, isn’t it?!

Musing on this, I decided that earth is preferable because we don’t do very well on our own in water. We have language, and language is full of signposts. Another word for it is signifier. A word is a signifier, it signifies something, and in this case the word earth

Earth = Life… For humans.

well it does mean dirt, it also means Planet Earth. Basically, we’re a bit biased how we use our signposts. Actual earth dirt anchors plants which take energy from the awesome sun and nourish us. It nourishes all other animals too but we don’t speak their language so we’re a bit biased, generally. Of course the ocean, the dominant surface of earth, has life too! Vast quantities of it, without which our life on the actual soil would be very different indeed, there’s this chain you see, the food chain, and a balance in nature that humans upset rather more than a bit. Because we are a bit biased towards ourselves, after all we’ve got words for everything, go us! But seriously, there was a movie a few years ago… It renamed the earth because earth wasn’t a good name for it any more. Can you guess what it was?

OH noo! I can’t grow stuff in that. Sob.

That’s right, WATERWORLD! We don’t do so well in water, just water. It’s a bit threatening when you don’t have gills and fins (although Kevin Costner does…He’s probably the only one though). We do thrive on land, on earth, so we call it earth. Because sometimes we are a little bit self centred and biased, using language and naming everything and all. We aren’t so special, Waterworld wouldn’t be our world, would it? Signing Out//Glub glub//Identity Detective (England)

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What stops you?

Erving Goffman wrote in his book The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (1959) that

When an individual plays a part he implicitly requests his observers to take seriously the impression that is fostered before them… one finds that the performer can be fully taken in by his own act; he can be sincerely convinced that the impression of reality which he stages is the real reality.’

By the ‘performer’ and the ‘act’ Goffman means you and me, and everyone, and the clothes we put on, and the way we respond to the question ‘How are you?’. Every decision you make in the morning from your socks to your pencil case to how you get to work (and where you work and how you reply to Helen the Hag when she asks ‘How are you?’) is an act. A performance of the self, our self, your self, that you want to be received and understood by the world. Some things change day to day, many remain constant. Helen the Hag generally prefers horses to people, and she really wants you to know about it, so she has a photograph of a horse on her desk and carries a bag that says ‘Neigh-ver met a horse I didn’t like’. Crude example, but you get the gist of it.

Gender is another performance. Other than a few physical differences the main aspects of gender that all societies use to differentiate between man and woman – and feel comfortable with the knowledge that these people are identifiable and therefore non threatening – is costume. Performance. Walk like a man, talk like a man. Act like a lady. We all buy in because it makes culturally acceptable roles within society work, as we grow bigger and mix up more, you have to give a reason to carve out a niche role that nobody has approved of.

‘When we discover that someone with whom we have dealings is an imposter and out-and-out fraud, we are discovering that he did not have the right to play the part he played.’

Believe it or not, it is an interesting theory. Just a notion to think about, when you think about what stops you… is it unwillingly you? Unknowingly you? In compliance with society, in unspoken performances that are fully acknowledged by their continuation. Might be. Often it stops me.

Signing Out//Identity Detective (ENGLAND)

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Wo ist Wally?


Signing out.//Identity Detective (Germany)

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Good Love Stories never had Happy Endings

By: Aizawa Sakura: Hiro goes to visit royal bastard Yuki. He sure did not see this coming.

“I don´t believe in love.” It sounds annoyingly scientific when he says it. Much like: I don´t believe in ghosts or Newton´s third law of motion states that… clearly, he´s not taking me seriously, and it pisses me of. It´s not like I don´t have anything better to do than spend my free afternoon with him. My first free afternoon since Christmas. Seeing that it´s the middle of May already, that actually means something. I´d very much like to punch him. Right in his face. Guess I´ve never been able to stand him. Instead I swallow and ask calmly:

“How can you say that?”

“It´s true” he answers. Guess I should have seen that coming. He continues: “love doesn´t exist. It´s just a foolish thing which people made up because they thought it was going to make them happier. But clearly it didn´t.”

And Shuichi?” I hiss.

“As I´ve told him, and as I will tell you: I don´t love him. Never have, never will.”

“And what does he feel for you?”

“His naïve imagination.”

“He loves you.”

“I don’t love him.”

It´s hard to restrain from attacking him. Not only has he taken advantage of and hurt my best friend, but he also speaks of it like it means nothing to him. With a smile on his face, no less.

“If you don´t love him, then why do you keep taking him back?” I´ve long wanted to ask that question. How many times has he kicked Shuichi out? And how many times has he taken him back? I have lost count. Yuki´s smile grows wider.

“He´s a good way to kill some time.”


“I said: he´s a good way to kill some time. You may believe that my life as a novelist is all perfect and entertaining, but as a matter of fact, I get bored quite often”.

That´s it. In seconds I have grabbed his collar and pressed him up against the wall.

“You bastard!” O roar, “Is that all he is to you, some freaking toy? You make love to him because you´re bored?”.

He´s not impressed by my sudden outburst.

“My dear Hiroshi-san” he says, and that´s more than enough to make me sick, “I don´t make love to him. I simply fuck him. However and whenever I feel like it.”

He´s going down. I use all my strength along with all my weight as I throw him at the floor. I land atop of him. I grab hold of his wrists and press his arms against the floor so he can´t move. My breathing is harsh. My heartbeat fast.

“Never… never come near him again” I growl, my face just inches from his. He doesn´t move. He does nothing, he looks at me with piercing eyes.

“I have made you angry” he observes.

I don´t answer. I always thought his eyes were blue, at this distance, I can see clearly how wrong I was. They’re green. A light green, with a tad of yellow as well. That doesn´t really surprise me. His paleness, blonde hair and natural grace have always reminded me of a vampire and the eye colour just adds to it. Suddenly I remember the first time I saw him. Saw his picture in one of his books. He might be an ass in person, but physically, he´s rather attractive.

“Fuck you” I say.

He keeps smiling that wicked smile. And I babble:

“Come on man, you´ve built you´re living on love. If you don’t believe in it, how come you´re so freaking good at writing those sappy stories?”

“You´ve read my novels, Hiroshi?” Oh no, I´m not owing up to that one.

“A few of them” I say.

“Then you know what they are. Sappy love stories you call them. That´s not true. They’re heart wrecking love stories. Or so my fans say. As well as the critics. Not sappy. Good.”

“Good? They´re not good! They’re unhappy and depressing. I can´t believe people actually like them!”

“They all have good endings.”

“They do not!”

“They have. There´s a difference between good endings and happy endings. My novels have good endings. Not one of them happy ones.” My grip of his wrists have loosened. Slowly he frees his arms and places them behind his head before he continues:

“Think of it, love stories never have happy endings.”

“They do” I hear myself saying.

“Not the good ones.”

And which are the good ones?”

“Romeo and Juliet.”

“That´s a tragedy, it´s supposed to be unhappy.”

“It´s also considered the number one love story of all times.” He´s right of course.

“When it comes to love” he says “many stories end unhappily.”

“That doesn´t mean it has to end unhappily in reality too” I try.

“I thought you said I should never get close to Shuichi again.”

“I did. But he won´t give up on you.”

“Of course he won´t. He can´t.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I´ve got my charm. People can´t help but get attracted to me.” I can´t believe him. Time to punch his face in, it seems.

“Your charm! More your looks. It´s really all there is to you. All you have is a pretty face.” He chuckles.

“Isn´t it funny, that even though you´re on top, you still feel submissive towards me?” He has moved his arm, placed his hand on my tight.

“Get away from me!” I say.

“I can´t” he answers, smiling, “I´m pinned to the ground here.”

I pull myself up straighter. Away from him. And that´s when he attacks me. In seconds, our positions have been reversed. I´m lying on the floor, Yuki on top of me. His eyes narrowed.

“That got uncomfortable?” he asks, his face so close to mine that our noses nearly teach each other.

“That was intended for” I answer, almost brushing my lips against his.

“What happened to Romeo and Juliet?” he asks.

“Died” I say.

“And the girl in Hamlet? What´s her name?”



“Killed herself?”


“Killed her children.”

“Kill your darlings.”


“You see, there is no such thing as love. Just physical attraction.” He whispers. I blush. He´s too close, his voice to coarse, his body against mine. My heart beat is picking up.

“You see” he says again, “you´re coming on to me, and that definitely doesn´t have anything to do with love.”

“Get… of… me. Please”

“How does good love stories always end?”

“Someone dies?”

“Yes, either that, or the hero makes out with the heroine´s best friend.”

He bites hard on my lower lip. His tongue touches mine. I guess it was foolish to believe I could make him understand. Foolish to believe I could make Yuki change his mind. I set out to help Shuichi, now it seems like I will only succeed in hurting him even more.


Signing out.//Identity Detective (Germany)

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The wind will take us

In my small night
the wind has a date with the leaves of the trees
in my small night there is agony of destruction
do you hear the darkness blowing?
I look upon this bliss as a stranger
I am addicted to my despair.

listen do you hear the darkness blowing?
something is passing in the night
the moon is restless and red
and over this rooftop
where crumbling is a constant fear
clouds, like a procession of mourners
seem to be waiting for the moment of rain.
a moment
and then nothing
night shudders beyond this window
and the earth winds to a halt
beyond this window
something unknown is watching you and me.

O green from head to foot
place your hands like a burning memory
in my loving hands
give your lips to the caresses
of my loving lips
like the warm perception of being
the wind will take us
the wind will take us.

Forugh Farrokhzad
Translated by Ahmad Karimi Hakkak
The Persian Book Review VOLUME III, NO 12 Page 1

Signing out.//Identity Detective (Germany)

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‘Can you share a song, image or words that remind you of a happy memory?’


In the morning, earliest (clearest? profound?) and first conscious thoughts of the day, and I leave to visit myself a hemisphere away.

Shhh there are no cars around now. Morning is now night, I am walking down a road in a tiny town with no street lamps towards my end of the road, no tarmac either and a lot of pot holes.


I am very small compared to the scene above me. No street lights means the sky lights are blazing.

I am really very small, and the trilling washing beating music means I have to stop so I don’t fall over because I really do have to appreciate this. Thing.

This everything!

I am a wee dot and my everything is nothing, or next to, in light of this… all.

I never got to see the sky twinkle this way until I came here, and as I lie in the morning a hemisphere away awash with light and bright and deafening AM in my face, ahh I sigh. That really was just.


Music morning clarity.

(let’s get perSPECtive)// Signing Out. Identity Detective (ENGLAND)

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